12 - Problem With Guilt
wonder why it is so crucial that you look upon your
hatred and realize its full extent. You may also think
that it would be easy enough for the Holy Spirit to
show it to you and dispel it, without the need for you
to raise it to awareness yourself. Yet there is one
more complication which you have interposed between
yourself and the Atonement, which you do not yet realize.
We have said that no one will countenance fear if he
recognizes it. Yet in your disordered state, you are
not afraid of fear. You do not like it, but it is not
your desire to attack which really frightens you. You
are not seriously disturbed by your hostility. You keep
it hidden because you are more afraid of what it covers.
look even upon the ego's darkest cornerstone without
fear if you did not believe that, without the ego, you
would find within yourself something you fear even more.
You are not afraid of crucifixion. Your real terror
is of redemption.
the ego's dark foundation is the memory of God, and
it is of this that you are really afraid. For this memory
would instantly restore you to your proper place, and
it is this place that you have sought to leave.
of attack is nothing compared to your fear of love.
You would be willing to look even upon your savage wish
to kill God's Son if you did not believe that it saves
you from love. For this wish caused the separation.
You have protected it because you do not want the separation
healed, and you realize that, by removing the dark cloud
that obscures it, your love for your Father would impel
you to answer His call and leap into Heaven. You believe
that attack is salvation to prevent you from this. For
still deeper than the ego's foundation, and much stronger
than it will ever be, is your intense and burning love
of God, and His for you. This is what you really want
In honesty, is it not harder for you to say “I
love” than “I hate?”
love with weakness and hatred with strength, and your
own real power seems to you as your real weakness. For
you could not control your joyous response to the call
of love if you heard it, and the whole world you think
you control would vanish. The Holy Spirit, then, seems
to be attacking your fortress, for you would shut out
God, and He does not will to be excluded.
built your whole insane belief system because you think
you would be helpless in God's Presence, and you would
save yourself from His love because you think it would
crush you into nothingness. You are afraid it would
sweep you away from yourself and make you little. For
you believe that magnitude lies in defiance and that
attack is grandeur. You think you have made a world
which God would destroy; and by loving Him, which you
do, you would throw this world away, which you would.
Therefore, you have used the world to cover your love,
and the deeper you go into the blackness of the ego's
foundation, the closer you come to the love that is
hidden there. And it is this that frightens you.
can accept insanity because you made it, but you cannot
accept love because you did not.
rather be slaves of the crucifixion than Sons of God
in redemption. For your individual death is more valued
than your living oneness, and what is given you is not
so dear as what you made. You are more afraid of God
than of the ego, and love cannot enter where it is not
welcome. But hatred can, for it enters of its will and
cares not for yours.
you must look upon your delusions and not keep them
hidden is that they do not rest on their own foundation.
In concealment they appear to do so, and thus they seem
to be self-sustained. This is the fundamental illusion
on which they rest. For beneath them and concealed as
long as they are hidden is the loving mind that thought
it made them in anger. And the pain in this mind is
so apparent when it is uncovered that its need of healing
cannot be denied. Not all the tricks and games you offer
it can heal it, for here is the real crucifixion of
yet he is not crucified. Here is both his pain and his
healing, for the Holy Spirit's vision is merciful, and
His remedy is quick.
not hide suffering from His sight, but bring it gladly
to Him. Lay before His eternal sanity all your hurt, and
let Him heal you. Do not leave any spot of pain hidden
from His light, and search your minds carefully for any
thoughts which you may fear to uncover. For He will heal
every little thought which you have kept to hurt you and
cleanse it of its littleness, restoring it to the magnitude
all your grandiosity, which you hold so dear, is your
real call for help. For you call for love to your Father
as your Father calls you to Himself. In that place which
you have hidden, you will only to unite with the Father
in loving remembrance of Him. You will find this place
of truth as you see it in your brothers, for though
they may deceive themselves, like you they long for
the grandeur that is in them. And perceiving it you
will welcome it, and it will be yours. For grandeur
is the right of God's Son, and no illusions can satisfy
him or save him from what he is. Only his love is real,
and he will be content only with his reality.
Save him from
his illusions that you may accept the magnitude of your Father
in peace and joy. But exempt no one from your love, or you will
be hiding a dark place in your mind where the Holy Spirit is
not welcome. And you will exempt yourself from His healing power,
for by not offering total love, you will not be healed completely.
Healing must be as complete as fear, for love cannot enter where
there is one spot of fear to mar its welcome..
No Longer Understand Your Father
prefer specialness to sanity could not obtain it in
your right minds. You were at peace until you asked
for special favor. And God did not give it, for the
request was alien to Him, and you could not ask this
of a Father Who truly loved His Son. Therefore you made
of Him an unloving father, demanding of Him what only
such a father could give. And the peace of God's Son
was shattered, for he no longer understood his Father.
He feared what he had made, but still more did he fear
his real Father, having attacked his own glorious equality
he needed nothing and asked for nothing. In war he demanded
everything and found nothing. For how could the gentleness
of love respond to his demands except by departing in
peace and returning to the Father? If the Son did not
wish to remain in peace, he could not remain at all.
For a darkened mind cannot live in the light, and it
must seek a place of darkness where it can believe it
is where it is not. God did not allow this to happen.
Yet you demanded that it happen and therefore believed
that it was so.
out” is to “make alone” and thus make
not do this to you. Could He set you apart, knowing
that your peace lies in His Oneness? He denied you only
your request for pain, for suffering is not of His creation.
Having given you creation, He could not take it from
you. He could but answer your insane request with a
sane answer which would abide with you in your insanity.
[And this He did. No one who hears His answer but will
give up insanity.] For His answer is the reference point
beyond illusions from which you can look back on them
and see them as insane. But seek this place, and you
will find it, for love is in you and will lead you there.