Your Eyes On Me
a start I noticed that we were moving—we
seemed to be high above the earth, speeding
together toward a distant pinprick of light.
distant pinprick resolved itself into a large
city where the streets were impossibly crowded.
Just below us two men bore down on the same
section of sidewalk and then simply passed
through each other.
was the same inside the factories and office
buildings—there were too many people
at the machines and desks. In
one room a man was sitting in an armchair
dictating a letter onto a rotating cylinder.
Standing behind him, not an inch away, another
man kept snatching repeatedly at the speaking
tube. "No" he was saying, "Why
did you send Bill on that job?" On and
on he went, correcting, giving orders, while
the man in the chair appeared neither to see
nor hear him.
noticed this phenomenon repeatedly, people
unaware of others right beside them. I saw
a women asking another for a cigarette, begging
her in fact, as though she wanted it more
than anything in the world. But the other
one, chatting with her friends, ignored her.
Clearly these individuals were in the same
predicament I myself was in—like me,
they were without physical bodies.
watched one woman following a man down the
street. She seemed very much alive, agitated
and tearful, except that the man to whom she
was addressing her emphatic words was oblivious
to her existence. "You’re not getting
enough sleep. Marjorie makes too many demands
on you. You should never have married a women
who thinks only of herself." I gathered
that she was his mother.
long had she been following him this way?
this what death was like—to be permanently
invisible to the living, yet permanently wrapped
up in their affairs?
not up for yourselves treasures on earth.
For where your treasure is, there will your
heart will be also."
words of Jesus sprang into my mind. Perhaps
these people, although they could no longer
contact the earth, still had their hearts
your eyes on Me," Jesus had told
when I did, the terror vanished. Without Him
before me, in fact, I could not have endured
the things He was showing me.
fast as thought we traveled from city to city,
seemingly on the familiar earth, except for
the thousands of non-physical beings. In one
house a man followed another from room to
room. "I’m sorry, pa!" he
kept saying. "I didn’t know what
it would do to Mama." Endlessly, over
and over, to ears that could not hear.
times we paused before similar scenes. A boy
trailing a teenaged girl through the corridors
of a school. "I'm sorry, Nancy!"
A middle-aged woman begging a Grey-haired
man to forgive her.
this point, the Light drew me inside a dingy
bar and grill—a crowd of people lined
the bar three deep. Though a few were drinking
beer, I noticed a number of the men standing
at the bar seemed unable to lift their drinks
to their lips. Over
and over I watched them clutch at their glasses,
hands passing through the solid tumblers.
Suppose they had developed a dependence on
alcohol that went beyond the physical. That
became mental—spiritual, even.
if hell was remaining on earth but never being
able to make contact with it. That would be
hell indeed. But if this was hell, why was
He here beside me? For He was overwhelmingly
the chief impression of the journey. Why did
my heart leap for joy each time I turned to
way I looked, He remained the real focus of
my attention. And that was another of the
things baffling me. If I could see Him, why
couldn’t everyone else?
was too bright for physical eyes to look at—that
I had realized right away. But surely the
living people we passed could sense the love
streaming out to them like heat from a mighty
these others, the ones like me who no longer
had physical eyes, how could they help but
see the burning love and compassion in their
could they miss someone closer, more brilliant
than the noonday sun?
these others see Him now too, if their attention
was not all caught up in the physical world
they had lost?
your heart is..." Maybe whenever our
center of attention was on anything else,
we could block out even Him!
Fled From The Light
were moving again. We had left the seedy streets
and bars, and were now standing on the edge
of a wide flat plain. Now, I could see no
physical man or woman. The plain was crowded,
even jammed with hordes of ghostly discarnate
beings. And they were the most frustrated,
the angriest, the most completely miserable
beings I had ever laid eyes on.
Jesus!" I cried. "Where are we?"
first I thought we were looking at some great
battlefield—everywhere people were locked
in what looked like fights to the death, writhing,
punching, gouging. And then I noticed that
no one was apparently being injured!
they appeared to be literally on top of each
other, it was as though each man was boxing
the air—having no substance, they could
not actually touch one another. They could
not kill, though they clearly wanted to, because
their intended victims were already dead,
and so they hurled themselves at each other
in a frenzy of impotent rage.
to this moment the misery I had watched consisted
in being chained to the physical world of
which we were no longer a part. Now I saw
that there were other kinds of chains. These
creatures seemed locked into habits of mind
and emotion—into hatred, lust, destructive
more hideous than the bites and kicks they
exchanged, were the sexual abuses many were
performing in feverish pantomime. Perversions
I had never dreamed of.
anyone thought, however fleetingly, was instantly
apparent to all around him, more completely
than words could have expressed it, faster
than sound waves could have carried it. And
the thoughts most frequently communicated
had to do with the superior knowledge, or
abilities, or background of the thinker.
told you so!"
I warn you!"
were shrieked into the echoing air over and
over. With a feeling of sick familiarity I
recognized my own thinking—the righteous
one, the award-winner, the churchgoer. At
age 20 I hadn’t yet developed any truly
chaining physical habits, but in these yelps
of envy and wounded self-importance I heard
myself all too well.
was it going to be like. I thought with sudden
panic, to live forever where my most private
thoughts were not private at all? No disguising
them, no covering them up, no way to pretend
I was anything but what I actually was. How
unbearable. Unless, of course, everyone around
me had the same kind of thoughts.
Once again, however, no condemnation came
from the Presence at my side, only a compassion
for these unhappy creatures that was breaking
His heart. Clearly this was not His Will that
any one of them should be in this place. Then—what
was keeping them here? Why didn’t each
one just get up and leave? They couldn’t
actually hold onto their victims. There were
no fences. Nothing prevented them from simply
going off. Unless, there was a kind of consolation
in finding others as loathsome as one’s
self, even if all we could do was hurl our
venom at each other.
this was the explanation for this hideous
plain. Perhaps each creature here had sought
out the company of others as pride-and-hate-filled
as himself, until together they formed this
society of the damned. Perhaps it was not
Jesus who had abandoned them, but they who
had fled from the Light that showed them their
I was becoming aware that there was something
else, that entire unhappy plain was hovered
over by Beings seemingly made of Light.
could see that these immense presences were
bending over the little creatures on the plain.
Were these bright beings angels?
it be that each of these substance-less
others, wretched and unworthy like me was
also in His presence?
the realm where space and time no longer followed
any rules I knew, could He be standing with
each of them as He was with me? I clearly
saw that not one of these bickering beings
on the plain had been abandoned. They were
being attended, watched over, ministered to,
and not one of them knew it. There was no
pause in the stream of rancor coming from
their hearts—their eyes sought only
some nearby figure to humiliate.
would have seemed to me impossible not to
be aware of the most striking features of
that whole landscape—the huge beings
made of light. In fact, now that I had become
aware of these bright presences, I realized
with bewilderment that I’d been seeing
them all along.
had crowded the living cities and towns we
had visited—they had been present in
the street, the factories, the homes, even
in that raucous bar. And suddenly I realized
that there was a common denominator to all
these scenes so far:
was the failure to see Jesus.
it was a physical appetite, an earthly concern,
or an absorption with self, whatever got
in the way of His Light, created the separation.
were moving again. First He had shown me a
hellish realm, filled with beings trapped
in some form of self-attention. Now behind,
beyond, through all this I began to perceive
a whole new realm! Enormous buildings stood
in a beautiful sunny park that reminded me
somewhat of a well-planned university. We
seemed suddenly to have entered an altogether
different dimension. Here was an all-pervading
atmosphere of the place was like some tremendous
study center, humming with the excitement
of great discovery. Everyone seemed caught
up in some all-engrossing activity. Not many
words were exchanged, rather an aloofness
of total concentration. Whatever else these
people might be, they appeared utterly and
supremely self-forgetful, absorbed in some
vast purpose beyond themselves.
are they doing, Jesus?" I asked.
I sensed that every activity on this mighty
campus had its source in God, no explanation
lighted my mind. What was communicated, as
before, was love: compassion for my ignorance,
understanding that encompassed all my non-understanding.
And something more, in spite of His obvious
delight in the beings around us, I sensed
that even this was not the ultimate, that
He had far greater things to show me if only
I could see. And
suddenly I wondered if it was the same thing
missing in the lower realm.
these selfless, seeking creatures also failing
in some degrees to see Jesus?
perhaps, to see Him for Himself?
and hints of Him they surely had, obviously
it was the truth they were so single-mindedly
pursuing, but what if even a thirst for truth
could distract from the Truth Himself, standing
here in their midst while they searched for
Him in books and test tubes.
Had Been Changed Into His Very Likeness
remained every moment the real focus of my
attention. Which is why, perhaps, I was not
aware of the precise moment when we left the
surface of the earth. Until now, I had had
the impression that we were traveling upon
the earth itself. Even
the "higher plane" of deep thoughts
and learning, was obviously not far from the
physical plane where bodiless beings were
still bound toa solid world.
however, we seemed to have left the earth
behind. Instead, we appeared to be in an immense
void—except that I had always thought
of that as a firghtening word, and this was
not. Some unnamable promise seemed to vibrate
through that vast emptiness. And then I saw,
infinitelyfar off—far too distant to
see with any kind of sight I know of—a
glowing, seemingly endless city, bright enough
to be seen over all the unimaginable distance
between. The brightness seemed to shine from
the very walls and streets of this place,
and from beings within it. In fact, the city
and everything in it seemed to be made of